Category: Humor

Debate Scorecard, Redux

WICKEDEST CENSORS—CNN “Hey, can I call you Joe?” she asked. “[Off-mike],” he responded. BEST MIXED METAPHOR—SARAH PALIN “The barometer there, I think, is going to be resounding that our economy is hurting.” MOST GERUNDS—SARAH PALIN Gerunds are for the weak, … Read More

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Cartoons

Some cartoons for your Sunday pleasure.

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How to Write an ‘A’ Paper; Or, How to Play the Shame

“I’m thinking, if I sit here long enough—all this professor’s time and energy and efforts will somehow culminate in my very own A paper. That’s all feedback is, right?”

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Wondering Why?

Dear Wise Wendy,
I can’t reach the top shelf in my house, but I need to get something out of it! What do I do?
From,
Shorty with a Problem

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Mythbusters

In a culture saturated with information, it is sometimes hard to separate fact from fiction. Join me as we take a closer look at some of the biggest myths that have gone unexamined for years.

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Dear Princeton, Let Me Major in Warrior Cats

A truly interdisciplinary independent concentration.

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Why Princeton students are like flowers

I went up to a girl who was yelling so loudly and excitedly that I thought I was in an episode of America’s Next Top Model right after the model-hopefuls have found out that they’re going to some foreign country, like Africa or Spain. “What’s the commotion?” I asked as we stood in front of Ivy, half expecting her to tell me that we were all going to Bali together.

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Don’t Fly Coach

Air travel used to be a real Event with a capital “E,” something that you would dream about and count down to. The old-time airlines like TWA boasted wide aisles, big seats, attractive stewardesses, and complete meals with real silverware for everyone (even the plebs in coach).

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H, to O

Dear Oxygen,

I haven’t seen you in a while. And I suppose you’ve never really seen me (remember, I am just one proton). Though I periodically get lonely, I manage to stay positive. This is a joke, Oxygen. You see, I am always positive in an electromagnetic sense (I am a proton!), but my morale—well, with a relentless positive charge comes a great burden. O—may I call you O?—nothing comes easily to me.

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Facial Hair, Don’t Care

While brainstorming what to give up for Lent, my friend Spencer suggested foregoing facial hair. This would probably be an entirely inconsequential Lenten sacrifice for the vast majority of the male population. For a stubborn, barely post-pubescent boy such as myself, however, this is no easy endeavor. For some inscrutable reason, and to the consternation of friends and family, I persist in growing absolutely disgusting facial hair.

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Debate Scorecard, Part III

HE MAKE IT RAIN HE MAKE IT RAIN HE MAKE IT RAIN HE MAKE IT RAIN—GEORGE BUSH “[T]his is a final verdict on the failed economic policies of the last eight years… that essentially said that we should strip away … Read More

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The Nass 100

100 things the staff of the Nassau Weekly doesn’t want to see again next year.

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