Category: Humor

Facial Hair, Don’t Care

While brainstorming what to give up for Lent, my friend Spencer suggested foregoing facial hair. This would probably be an entirely inconsequential Lenten sacrifice for the vast majority of the male population. For a stubborn, barely post-pubescent boy such as myself, however, this is no easy endeavor. For some inscrutable reason, and to the consternation of friends and family, I persist in growing absolutely disgusting facial hair.

by on

More Finite Jest

The end of laughter.

by on

Notes from the Reichling Family Fridge

Private Safety alerts.

by on

The Biography of Meryl Streep

A poem in 8 acts.

by on

The Nass 100

100 things the staff of the Nassau Weekly doesn’t want to see again next year.

by on

10 Things You Absolutely Don’t Need to Bring to College

But Your Mother Will Insist You Do

by on

Servicing the Nation

Several weeks ago, a number of students received an email about a group of Bronx middle school students who wanted to visit Princeton. The idea was simple: at-risk students might be motivated to stay in school if they could see the fruits of years of academic labor. Unfortunately, only a few days before the slated visit, we received another email. The students could no longer visit Princeton because of budget cuts. At this announcement, the school threw up its hands in dismay and declared that there was nothing to be done to help these kids.

by on

Short Guide for Running

Twenty satirical directives for running in the city.

by on

Wondering Why?

Dear Wise Wendy,
How do you snookle a pookieboogle?
Snook-Curious

by on

When Tigerhub Goes Down

The twenty-one hours to himself during the day aren’t so bad, but the three hours at night are paralyzing. He always tells himself, in the midst of particularly productive days, that he’ll be able to finally start doing things during the night, but when the time comes he’s scared of going out.

by on

A letter to my TI lover

Dear Guy from TI the other night, aka Mike, aka My Love, My Love, My Love,

What the hell happened? I’m so pissed at you that I can’t even talk to you about it face-to-face. Also, I can’t find you, which makes it harder to talk to you face-to-face. Isn’t this weird? I’m pissed at you, but I still love you. Look at that. So I’ve resorted to writing this letter in the hopes that you’re the one guy who goes to TI who also reads the Nass.

by on

A Better Course Guide

The Nass’s classes.

by on