One must credit the producers of Expelled: No Intelligence Allowed for stretching such a pathetic stock of original material into 90 minute feature. Given how preposterous intelligent design is, Ben Stein probably gave the most sympathetic account possible of how a handful of researchers defending it were ejected from their respective Universities. He did not, however, provide persuasive evidence for how evolutionary theory led to eugenics, racism, Communism, fascism, abortion, and a host of other evils that are either directly or indirectly referenced.
The toy’s full name was Slapstick: An Authentic Comedy Toy for the Whole Family!TM, Slapstick himself being a kind of flesh-colored kidney-bean-shaped almost-humanoid character with googly eyeballs and kind of oozy chunky rubbery skin (which was in fact made of … Read More
WICKEDEST CENSORS—CNN “Hey, can I call you Joe?” she asked. “[Off-mike],” he responded. BEST MIXED METAPHOR—SARAH PALIN “The barometer there, I think, is going to be resounding that our economy is hurting.” MOST GERUNDS—SARAH PALIN Gerunds are for the weak, … Read More
First Voice Message: Today, Friday, the 3rd, 4:27 a.m. — The sounds of Manhattan circa 3 a.m., most noticeably an earnestly diegetic purring. — Hey, man, I know it’s been awhile. — Palpable, nay, precocious, slurring — I’m calling to … Read More
Dear Sexpert, If someone rims my ass am I still a virgin? – Carnally Concerned Dear Carnally Concerned, Not in the eyes of Jesus, you aren’t. Dear Sexpert, My vibrator got lost in my birth canal when I was double … Read More
It’s the apocalypse, and in its last death rattle, the illustrious Nassau Weekly decides to leave one more gift to humanity, to create the only remembrance of our time on earth, to cement an eternal legacy—to publish THE LAST LIST.
