Category: Humor

Welcome to Our Study

Take off your underwire bra and your prison tattoos. Thank you. Put in these earplugs please. You’ll hear us; we’ll speak very loudly and with gestures.

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372 Brown

Artist statement for a Visual Arts thesis.

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Facial Hair, Don’t Care

While brainstorming what to give up for Lent, my friend Spencer suggested foregoing facial hair. This would probably be an entirely inconsequential Lenten sacrifice for the vast majority of the male population. For a stubborn, barely post-pubescent boy such as myself, however, this is no easy endeavor. For some inscrutable reason, and to the consternation of friends and family, I persist in growing absolutely disgusting facial hair.

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Peer Review: Jeremy Revises Isabel’s Essay

Jeremy Cohen marks up Isabel Henderson’s Common App essay.

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Just Say No

The philosophers tell us that everyone has, at some point in their life, given or received a handjob*. Science bears this out. Thing is, though, that handjobs just aren’t that great. Nobody really likes giving them, and, save for a … Read More

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Jewish Wisdom

Love, lust and etsah in the bubble.

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Campus Map of Rap

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Peer Review

Since the beginning of time, editors at The Nassau Weekly have taken their pens to each other’s Common Application Essays. And yes, The Nassau Weekly has been around since the beginning of time.

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Community

Why You Need To Watch This Television Program.

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Don’t Let Your Friends Use Your iPhone

Even if their battery runs out and they really really need to check Snapchat.

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The Fifth Column

To the males who inhabit my building, I pose the following question: Seriously? When I arrived in the good old 08540 so many months ago, I had long since learned what I understand to be the laws–facts, perhaps, is a … Read More

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Public Service Announcement

The following is a message from the Colorado Springs Safety Council, a proud mountain western affiliate of The Nassau Weekly. This is your safety spokesman, Melvin R. McGinnis, speaking.

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