Category: Humor

Open Letter

“I hardly believe that I am the first to bring this to your attention, but I feel compelled by my allegiance to our university’s mission to ask: why don’t we spend more time talking about dinosaurs?”

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25 Things to Do in Firestone Besides My Thesis

1. Leave notes in books that imply a campus-wide Masonic influence. 2. Climb on the roof(s). 3. Invade another carrel. 4. Fill your carrel up to the window with tennis balls and then print out explanatory notices with dialogue from … Read More

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That Precept Kid Reviews Recipes

This bark is not trying to be anything than what it really is, something that plagues so many holiday desserts.

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Confessions IX

Am I handsome? There are days when my face is clear and my hair all in place and I believe that I am very comely, and there are days when I am unduly scruffy and pimpled and I despise my own reflection. I

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A Cup Can Be a Bowl: Lessons from Outdoor Action

A curated list of hard-earned life lessons from one writer’s OA excursion.

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How to Write a Pitchfork Album Review

Listen to two or three of the songs off of the album. Pick them from different sections, so it seems like you listened to the whole thing. Also, don’t call them songs. Call them “tracks” or (even better) “cuts” instead.

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Still Stumped?

Dear Smart Sally, What should I get my boyfriend for Valentine’s Day? Signed, Clueless in Cuyler Dear Clueless, Men only want one thing from us: hand-knit socks. So, grab your knitting needles and a big ball of wool and get … Read More

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How to Write an ‘A’ Paper; Or, How to Play the Shame

“I’m thinking, if I sit here long enough—all this professor’s time and energy and efforts will somehow culminate in my very own A paper. That’s all feedback is, right?”

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Capers

A love-hate letter.

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Campus Map of Rap

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How to Remember Names

Human connection is beautiful, but one must remember not to dampen that burgeoning fire by committing
the greatest sin of all friendships: forgetting a name.

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Rage With Romney

Mitt Romney praying and drinking.

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