Byline: staff

A Better Course Guide

Courses that take YOU

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101 Questions to Ask Eisgruber at Office Hours

What is Cap Love? How can I improve my relationship with my mother? what’s ur dick like? You’re Jewish but your name is Christopher… is that weird for you? Have you ever hooked up with a student? Be honest. Which … Read More

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90 Princeton Courses that Were Never Taught

All the courses you always wanted to take—if the university ever let you.

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100 Things To Do Before You Graduate

A Nass list.

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The Nass 100

1. Graph humor 2. “Does America Have Too Many Nurses or Not Enough?”: _The Slatest_ 3. Visual learners 4. Trail blazers 5. People who are culturally insensitive to my opinions 6. The disgusting cover letter and resume I sent to … Read More

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The Nass 100

1. Your idea for a new campus publication

100. That night I held you and we just laughed and cried till morning

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The Nass 100

1. Natalee Holloway. 2. James Taylor, and the giant pussies who love James Taylor. 3. Wasps who give “spiels”. 4. My roommates using my Ann Coulter poster as a jizz-rag. 5. That one kid who finished Infinite Jest. 6. Vaguely … Read More

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121 Reasons Why I Have to Attend a Different Precept

Can’t listen to the kid next to me clear his throat again.

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A Better Course Guide

ARC 210 Unpacking Foreclosure ATL 253 Eating Clear Soup with Small Spoons on Uncomfortable Chairs BCS101 Introduction to the Existence of Bosnian-Croatian-Serbian CHI 101 So You Want to Apply to PIA CHV 310 Practical Meth-xxx CWR 301 Your Memoir CWR … Read More

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Nass 100

100 things the staff of the Nass doesn’t want to see again next year: So much self-loathing staring back out of the mirror My love handles My puffy cheeks My cankles Food My third nipple Uncircumcised penises Uncircumcised vaginas The … Read More

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A Better Course Guide

COM/PHI 101: Is it lit?
ENG 201: Oh it’s lit.

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The Nass Weekly’s Weekly Diet

“‘Ere we come, ‘ere we come, ‘ere we come to eat some snacks!” That’s the song you sing as you roll your way to the feeding tubes, you glutinous masses of orca-fat-fattened lard-balls! And what do you have to say for yourselves? Nothing, because your mouths are blocked up by the pendulous weight of your sagging cheeks and you have forgotten all words except “more” and “a little bit more” and “perhaps just another dollop.”

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