Byline: staff

A Better Course Guide

Fall 2012.

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The Nass 100

100 things the staff of the Nassau Weekly doesn’t want to see again next year.

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100 Reasons I Can’t Have Sex With You Tonight

My mom has the key to my chastity belt.

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The Nass Weekly’s Weekly Diet

“‘Ere we come, ‘ere we come, ‘ere we come to eat some snacks!” That’s the song you sing as you roll your way to the feeding tubes, you glutinous masses of orca-fat-fattened lard-balls! And what do you have to say for yourselves? Nothing, because your mouths are blocked up by the pendulous weight of your sagging cheeks and you have forgotten all words except “more” and “a little bit more” and “perhaps just another dollop.”

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Jeremiah Was a Prophet

Jeremiah (“The Weeping Prophet”) is famous for prophesying the destruction of Jerusalem and the exile of the Jews. In the Hebrew Bible, God called to Jeremiah in 626 BC and said that the Jewish people had forsaken him by worshiping false idols. God instructed Jeremiah to proclaim that unless they repented, the Israelites would be pillaged by a foreign nation and exiled from their land as punishment.

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103 Things to Do as a Prefrosh

The Nass compiled the definitive list of necessary prefrosh experiences

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PrinceWatch, Reloaded

PrinceWatch is back! For years the Daily Princetonian has been running bizarre and often incomprehensible features on facets of campus life that are of interest only to drooling alums and university administrators who like to see their names in print. We at PrinceWatch hope to bring to light the most egregiously offensive examples of Prince pseudo-journalism in the hopes that one day the Daily Princetonian will give itself a long hard look in the mirror and close its doors for good. Right.

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A Better Course Guide

The Nass’s classes.

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Top Ten Leslie Bernard-Joseph Pick-up Lines:

1. I don’t know about Princeton in the Nation’s Service, but I’m at your service anytime. 2. Did you know I was president of the BSU? As in, I’m black and single, you? 3. Step into the ex-com office and … Read More

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Prefrosh Portraits

They’re coming.

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Gangnam Racist Style

K-Pop makes it big, but then what?

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A Better Course Guide

Courses that take YOU

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