Category: Humor

Once Upon a Time Not Long Ago

First, there was the cinnamon challenge. Then, the Tide Pod challenge. And now, the Frist hoe.

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The Last List

It’s the apocalypse, and in its last death rattle, the illustrious Nassau Weekly decides to leave one more gift to humanity, to create the only remembrance of our time on earth, to cement an eternal legacy—to publish THE LAST LIST.

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Peer Review

Since the beginning of time, editors at The Nassau Weekly have taken their pens to each other’s Common Application essays…

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Open Letter

“I hardly believe that I am the first to bring this to your attention, but I feel compelled by my allegiance to our university’s mission to ask: why don’t we spend more time talking about dinosaurs?”

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111 Items on Eisgruber’s Search History

5. found out jewish what do I do?

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God’s Clown

“Will Frost— “gods clown,” blue-grass harmonic player, certified mid-wife, UC Berkeley graduate and Abraham Lincoln look-alike—sits on the bench outside Small World Coffee eating a bagel with grape jelly.”

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Canada F.A.Q.

On Canada and Justin Trudeau.

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An Alcohol.edu Love Story

“Because the last time we parted ways
Was in the upstairs lobby of McCosh.”

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A Few Thoughts on Zayn Malik

“On the long last day of his life, the Buddha sat perfectly still.”

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The Strand

“My fellow Americans…”

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That Precept Kid Reviews Starbucks Snacks

Did you know? I’m in a philosophy of language class.

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Reasons I Called P-Safe on My Roomate

There’s nothing worse than a bad roommate.

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