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Category: Humor

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Wondering Why?

Dear Wise Wendy,
I can’t reach the top shelf in my house, but I need to get something out of it! What do I do?
From,
Shorty with a Problem

by Wise Wendy on April 2, 2009March 17, 2013

Peer Review

Joel edits Will’s college essay.

by Joel Newberger on November 10, 2011March 22, 2013

More Finite Jest

The end of laughter.

by Eliot Linton on October 17, 2012September 7, 2013

40.36° South 105.3° East

You have walked through FitzRandolph Gate, and you will never graduate. You keep walking until you hit the shore.

by Sophie Parker-Rees on November 8, 2014June 10, 2015

103 Things to Do as a Prefrosh

The Nass compiled the definitive list of necessary prefrosh experiences

by staff on April 10, 2016April 16, 2016

We Should Really, Like, Do A Cleanse

What do Gwyneth Paltrow, my mother, and their doctors have in common?

by Margaret Spencer on February 15, 2015

The Fifth Column

Those who cannot learn from history are doomed to repeat it.” How many times have you heard that one, seriously? If there is a list out there of the top-ten-most abused quotes in history, this one by Spanish essayist George Santayana would certainly rank near the top. While I am a bit hesitant to use it here, I have raked my brain for the past several hours to find anything else that could better contextualize contemporary movements towards an Palestinian-Israeli peace. It has been a vain attempt.

by Jacob Candelaria on April 3, 2008March 17, 2013

The Nass’s Classes

Real class -> Playful pejorative THR 201 : Beginning Studies/Acting -> “Shows for joes” ENG 206 : Reading Literature: Fiction -> “Plots for twats” POL 210 : Political Theory -> “Rules for tools” EGR 194 : Intro Engineering -> “Screws for Jews” JRN 445 : … Read More

by Eliot Linton on December 6, 2012March 22, 2013

New Slang

Transatlantic translations.

by Guy Johnston on November 14, 2012March 17, 2013

Public Service Announcement

The following is a message from the Colorado Springs Safety Council, a proud mountain western affiliate of The Nassau Weekly. This is your safety spokesman, Melvin R. McGinnis, speaking.

by Melvin McGinnis on February 14, 2013March 22, 2013

The Nass 100

100 things the staff of the Nassau Weekly doesn’t want to see again next year.

by staff on April 26, 2014July 22, 2017

Letter to a Professor (From a Disgruntled Parent-Donor)

Dear Lecherous Lecturer Precious Professor, Happy winter. I heard you’re in Vail? Hope the slopes are not destroying your knees. I’m reeling from the news that you gave a D to my son Robert “Torie” George Junior (I abstain from … Read More

by Braden Flax, Lara Katz on April 16, 2023


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