Category: Humor

Nass 100

100 things the staff of the Nass doesn’t want to see again next year: So much self-loathing staring back out of the mirror My love handles My puffy cheeks My cankles Food My third nipple Uncircumcised penises Uncircumcised vaginas The … Read More

by on

Peer Review

Since the beginning of time, editors at the Nassau Weekly have taken their pens to each other’s Common Application Essays. And yes, the Nassau Weekly has been around since the beginning of time.

by , on

A couple of things to consider when picking classes

I know you’ve heard it, or, if not, then you’ve felt it somehow, sweeping through the dorm room hallways, rolling around Café Viv, and whirring past kids on their way to Firestone. There is a buzz in the air, and no, it’s not the bees or the wind that’s making that sound. I’m talking about that time halfway through the semester or so when the course catalog comes out.

by on

Slapstick

The toy’s full name was Slapstick: An Authentic Comedy Toy for the Whole Family!TM, Slapstick himself being a kind of flesh-colored kidney-bean-shaped almost-humanoid character with googly eyeballs and kind of oozy chunky rubbery skin (which was in fact made of … Read More

by on

Nasstrology: Valentine’s Day Edition

The Nass gives its lovelorn readers guidance for the greeting card industry’s favorite holiday.

by on

New Slang

Transatlantic translations.

by on

A Few Thoughts on Zayn Malik

“On the long last day of his life, the Buddha sat perfectly still.”

by on

Spring Preening

Seasonal fashion tips for the indolent.

by on

On Writing and the Douchebag Yid

By Jonathan Safran Foer ’99.

by on

Wondering Why?

Dear Wise Wendy, I’ve been at Princeton for a little while now, and I just can’t seem to click with anyone romantically. I can’t bear this crippling loneliness any longer. Should I try Speed Dating? From, – In a Sophomore … Read More

by on

Jewish Wisdom

Love, lust and etsah in the bubble.

by , on

True and False: Bacon Transgressions

Let’s play a game.

by on