Byline: staff

The Nass Weekly’s Weekly Diet

Heya Hippos! It’s a brand new week, and that means a brand new opportunity to eat less than you did last week. How much did you eat last week, anyway? It’s okay, you can tell us. I bet it was more than enough.

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The Nass 100

1. Natalee Holloway. 2. James Taylor, and the giant pussies who love James Taylor. 3. Wasps who give “spiels”. 4. My roommates using my Ann Coulter poster as a jizz-rag. 5. That one kid who finished Infinite Jest. 6. Vaguely … Read More

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The Nass Weekly’s Weekly Diet

Hey there, Students. Are you feeling a little, well, chubbly-wubbly? Are your ankles a bit cankly? Are your hips bulbous and obscene? Are your cheeks filled to bursting with pie? Here at the Nassau Weekly we feel comfortable enough to … Read More

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The Final Countdown

I love this show as much as FOX hates it, which is a lot. I mean, running the last four new episodes all at once, up against the opening ceremonies of the OLYMPICS?!

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In the House of the Rising Sun

Mardi Gras never defined my image of New Orleans. To me Mardi Gras was a cliché that was not quite rooted in a city so steeped in two things above all else: food and jazz. Mardi Gras was to New Orleans like a Carnivale mask, worn on one night and then discarded.

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The 26th Annual Nass 100

1) Whatever ancient crime forever embittered the staff of Thai Village.
2) The Princeton Tiger’s obsession with third floor bicker. You guys are in Tower, assholes.
3) People who, when you tell them that snot tastes better than earwax, say “Yuck” and pretend they’ve tasted neither.

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Top Ten Leslie Bernard-Joseph Pick-up Lines:

1. I don’t know about Princeton in the Nation’s Service, but I’m at your service anytime. 2. Did you know I was president of the BSU? As in, I’m black and single, you? 3. Step into the ex-com office and … Read More

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