Byline: Rafael Abrahams

Urinalysis

I peed before I ever spoke.

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I Wrote A Thesis

I wrote a thesis. I wrote it and bound it and turned it in. I am proud of my thesis and I think I produced a piece of research that is interesting and substantial.

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Her Lady Bits

I have been many things throughout my tenure at Princeton—a human, a tiger, a journalist, drunk—but I have never been a lady. Through no fault of their own, approximately one half of mankind never experiences the triumphs and challenges of womanhood, and I am destined to remain among them.

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Spring Preening

Seasonal fashion tips for the indolent.

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127 Unclaimed Rap Names

The Crying Game DJ Yung Educated But Unemployed Lil Drummer Boy Sofresh n’ Soclean Dion Adonis Morissette D(ean)J Rapelye Rudeboy Giuliani Duncan Hoy-Z Lil Peni$ Lil Italy Lil Lion Man Lil Caesars Pizza Kings ?uest Missy Eliot Linton Missy Michelle … Read More

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On Writing and the Douchebag Yid

Rafael Noah Abrahams channels Jonathan Safran Foer.

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Upward Nubility

Chats from the past.

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Slits

A short play for three friends at dawn.

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Honesty

[I] food [A] star_luvr : spicy fries at terrace fourth course are so obviously made by students they are so overspiced star_luvr : when i cook i put a shit ton of spices on it to test the limits of … Read More

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Honesty II

A parable towards Commencement.

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