Byline: Eliot Linton

127 Unclaimed Rap Names

The Crying Game DJ Yung Educated But Unemployed Lil Drummer Boy Sofresh n’ Soclean Dion Adonis Morissette D(ean)J Rapelye Rudeboy Giuliani Duncan Hoy-Z Lil Peni$ Lil Italy Lil Lion Man Lil Caesars Pizza Kings ?uest Missy Eliot Linton Missy Michelle … Read More

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Hookups / Celebrations

Three new romantic engagements.

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Rules of Pool

Here’s a proposal. Next time you play pool, ignore the rule that scratching on the eight-ball makes you lose. Hold on, that’s madness: That’s like the main rule in pool. In my small experience, a frustrating majority of games of … Read More

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Grind Away

Whenever I’ve been asked how the Orange and Black Ball was for me, I’ve just said “fun.”

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The Nass’s Classes

Real class -> Playful pejorative THR 201 : Beginning Studies/Acting -> “Shows for joes” ENG 206 : Reading Literature: Fiction -> “Plots for twats” POL 210 : Political Theory -> “Rules for tools” EGR 194 : Intro Engineering -> “Screws for Jews” JRN 445 : … Read More

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More Finite Jest

The end of laughter.

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Class ‘N’ Titles

The two most shameless course titles at Princeton are NES 362 “Blood, Sex, and Oil: The Caucasus,” and FRS 117 “Eye of the Tiger: Reading Buildings.” They blatantly, even desperately, ask for attention.

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This Election Thing

On character judgments & choosy politics.

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Shit People Say

Some soft fiction.

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Hospital Stories

Never before this week had I been hospitalized.

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Hellas Historic

Picture me this fall break, up on the Athenian acropolis, staring down the Parthenon, trying to figure out anything at all. It’s bright if that helps. I’m up there on a trip with Princeton’s Humanistic Studies Sequence. Written HUM, pronounced … Read More

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A History of A Capella

And the constriction of Song.

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