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Byline: Colin Pfeiffer

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Jesus Christ Supersized

John Hagee has perfected this easily accessible, easily consumed version of Christianity at Cornerstone. He has pared down the commitment, time and energy one needs to devote to religion to the barest minimum. You simply show up at 8:30, 11:00 or 6:30 on Sunday and worship. For a little over an hour, you can cleanse your soul, praise the Lord and find peace. And you don’t need to strain yourself, either. The music is simple. The message is alliterative.

by Colin Pfeiffer on April 5, 2006March 17, 2013

From the Editors

Two-hundred and fifty seven days, folks. Two hundred and fifty-seven. Let it roll of your tongues—257—it won’t be long now.

by Colin Pfeiffer on April 17, 2008March 17, 2013

Sweet Humps and Bumps

It was a dark and stormy night in a town that knows how to keep its secrets. The pavement was slick with forgotten promises and the air rank with dissolution and ambiguous morality.

by Colin Pfeiffer on October 10, 2007March 17, 2013

From the Editors

Welcome Pre-frosh! Congratulations on your acceptance to [one of ] the most selective college[s] in the Ivy League!

by Colin Pfeiffer on April 10, 2008March 17, 2013

Fear and Loathing at the Freshman Formal

When I heard about the Freshman Formal my mind immediately flipped to “Prom: The College Edition.” At first I didn’t even plan on going to the Formal.

by Colin Pfeiffer on April 6, 2005March 17, 2013

This Just In From Egypt

But, with the surge in oil prices and the resultant focus on the Middle East, Cairo and Egypt (along with pre-bombed Beirut) became virtual Meccas of Western culture. And, of course, with the Gucci and the McDonald’s came the fitness clubs. Appearing like empty candy wrappers after a night of THC-induced debauchery, these clubs came complete with ellipticals, aerobics classes and muscle-bound personal trainers. Catering to the Cairene elite, the gyms cover all the bases: massage parlors, multiple steam rooms, kickboxing and hip-hop classes and, of course, the smoothie bar

by Colin Pfeiffer on October 4, 2006March 17, 2013

A Nass 100 Introduction

Over a lunch of pizza bagels, a fan of this very paper was asked to explain the Nass 100. “The Nass 100 is this thing that the Nass does every year where they like list one hundred things they never want to see again and like 33.3% of them are super funny.” Well, we are pleased to announce a full 67 (round up!) percent of this year’s list is top-form humour! Incremental progress, folks.

by Colin Pfeiffer on September 25, 2008March 17, 2013

At Your Service

NW: On the topic of religious holidays: Yom Kippur, Day of Atonement. For the Princeton students, is there anything you must atone for?

[Pregnant pause]

JW: Caring too much.

by Colin Pfeiffer on October 9, 2008March 17, 2013

From the Editors

Our Weekly Missive.

by Colin Pfeiffer on March 6, 2008March 17, 2013

Squashed Together

“We definitely weren’t the favorites going into this,” senior and captain Casey Riley said. “But we pulled it out.” Riley wasn’t exaggerating. The women’s squash team, by many counts, was not the favorite to win this year’s Howe Cup.

by Colin Pfeiffer on March 6, 2008March 17, 2013

StalkFest

Stalking someone is like sucking the marrow out of bones. It is disgusting both to watch and perform.

by Colin Pfeiffer on March 30, 2005March 17, 2013

From the Editors

Our Weekly Missive.

by Colin Pfeiffer on March 27, 2008March 17, 2013


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