Over a lunch of pizza bagels, a fan of this very paper was asked to explain the Nass 100. “The Nass 100 is this thing that the Nass does every year where they like list one hundred things they never want to see again and like 33.3% of them are super funny.” Well, we are pleased to announce a full 67 (round up!) percent of this year’s list is top-form humour! Incremental progress, folks.
But, with the surge in oil prices and the resultant focus on the Middle East, Cairo and Egypt (along with pre-bombed Beirut) became virtual Meccas of Western culture. And, of course, with the Gucci and the McDonald’s came the fitness clubs. Appearing like empty candy wrappers after a night of THC-induced debauchery, these clubs came complete with ellipticals, aerobics classes and muscle-bound personal trainers. Catering to the Cairene elite, the gyms cover all the bases: massage parlors, multiple steam rooms, kickboxing and hip-hop classes and, of course, the smoothie bar
When Ahmed was born those twenty or so years ago, the world was taking a piss. His mother screamed in agony as his overlarge head forced its way out of her vagina. His father, preferring oblivion to the messy, bloody process that is birth, smoked himself retarded outside the whelping chamber.
“Although neither of us is particularly loud, I guess you could say I’ve always been a little bit more introverted, a little quieter,” Castro said, describing his relationship with his twin brother, Joaquin. “But Joaquin and I have different ideas about politics and how to serve the people. I felt that I could help more people on a day-to-day basis in the city government. And so,” he finished, a quiet determination in his voice. “Here I am.”
“We definitely weren’t the favorites going into this,” senior and captain Casey Riley said. “But we pulled it out.” Riley wasn’t exaggerating. The women’s squash team, by many counts, was not the favorite to win this year’s Howe Cup.
It was a dark and stormy night in a town that knows how to keep its secrets. The pavement was slick with forgotten promises and the air rank with dissolution and ambiguous morality.