Byline: Anonymous

The Last List

It’s the apocalypse, and in its last death rattle, the illustrious Nassau Weekly decides to leave one more gift to humanity, to create the only remembrance of our time on earth, to cement an eternal legacy—to publish THE LAST LIST.

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Seeking Out the Greats

Princeton University is a warped, funhouse mirror image of Hollywood, where the oldest and least attractive people are the stars and the beautiful children of privilege pay high prices to stand briefly in their presence. Like Princeton, Hollywood is a … Read More

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Single and Desperate

Daring, bold 5’9″ Jewish M with extreme good looks has decided not to be daring and bold by placing an ad for a similarly attractive F, height < 5'8". Think Annie Hall for a better looking, more bold and daring Alvy Singer. If you don't know what I'm talking about, it might not work.

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Letter from the Editors

We here at The Nassau Weekly love to hate the The Prince. Yet as the events surrounding the Printsanything scandal unfolded, we found that even our cold hearts were moved to sympathy. Sure, the Gaily Printsanything made us all shudder … Read More

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The Shtup of Whatever

Sort-of gay frosh week.

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All You Ever Wanted to Know About MMORPGs

The inspiration for this guide struck me with its +4 Fire Damage Hammer of Glor’goth when I realized just how much of the day I spend talking about MMORPGs alone, never mind playing. I cannot claim complete authority on this diverse topic, but for you, dear reader, I shall elucidate some of those peculiar things you might have heard that group of strange non-J.Crew-clad folk babbling about at the dining table next to yours.

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Single Kid Finalists

Will Ryan Foss, Will Wachter, or Ivana King be the Nassau Weekly’s Single Kid? Readers: the decision is in your hands.

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Combing through the Dogpile

Alpha Dog, Nick Cassavetes’s new guns-‘n’-posses yarn, is predictably bad. That is to say, it fails where one might expect it to fail: cuts are alternately languid and meth-fueled, the dialogue stilted or overly gangish. In case you’re wondering, Justin … Read More

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Fun with Oulipo

The Unknown As we know, There are known knowns. There are things we know we know. We also know There are known unknowns. That is to say We know there are some things We do not know. But there are … Read More

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#what’s love

“They say love is accepting one another as is, marveling at the imperfections and delighting at the quirks.”

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Fears, Beers, and Freshman Year

“Excuse me, do you have an extra cigarette?” I asked a woman outside New York Penn Station on my way home from Reunions in June. As I inhaled, the previous nine months began to transform from life to memory, things that were happening to things that had happened, becoming things that had happened to me rather than things I had made happen.

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Total Clipse of the Heart

People – especially dopey, two-months-behind-the-times columnists like the New Yorker’s Sasha Frere-Jones – love making sweeping pronouncements about the nature of hip-hop. Music is a manifestation of the human creative spirit; it is born of a whole slew of political … Read More

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