Bee Hive, which happens to be a fifteen minute walk away from here, is just as awesome, actually more awesome because it’s more frequent and reliable and lasts longer and is overall a better investment for the whole family and the screaming children in the backseat who have had to pee for four hours. But hey

if you like the comfortable leather interior of the Bandwagon I completely understand and by all means you should stay and wait for the misnomer that is Old Faithful. But now that I have your undivided blank stares I guess I should probably do my job. The geyser was named in 1870 by Henry D. Washburn and was the first geyser in Yellowstone

to receive a name. Eruptions can shoot 3700 to 8400 gallons of boiling water 106 to 185 feet in the air every 45 to 125 minutes lasting for 1.5 to 5 minutes do you see what I mean by reliable. Over time, the length of the interval between eruptions has—oh there it goes. Do

what you gotta do. Yes thank you. Ok.—before I was so rudely interrupted, I was saying that over time, the length of the interval between eruptions has increased. If you have questions, please do not at all hesitate ever in the slightest to ask me. Thanks for coming folks—I’ll likely be here for an indefinite period of time. I love the idea of my job.