All under the watchful eyes of a plastic Jesus, Filipa Ioannou ‘15 at my side… the desperate reply-all pleas to be let off the email listserv… the Ivy Club dilettantes who would come to one meeting, buy a Nass sweater (shout-out Liz Lian ‘15 for immortal branding), wear it all the time, and never write a single word… the time, post-graduation, I saw David Remnick ’81 wearing that same Nass sweatshirt over basketball shorts in Barney Greengrass, and Ben Jubas ‘14 just happened to be living directly across the street, appearing to verify I was not hallucinating after only twenty or thirty crazed texts … the failure of the upperclassmen members of the masthead to come help me and hungover, dutiful freshmen distribute issues from the back of my Honda Element … my terrifyingly brilliant professor stopping in the middle of a lecture on Wordsworth to say whoever kept sending her to Verbatim had to stop (it actually wasn’t me, I swear) … the time someone asked during a Monday meeting if anyone could get them on the Cottage list for that weekend and, reader, we could not …

I cannot do justice to the absolute force for good the Nassau Weekly was and is in my life; it’s nestled too deeply into my heart. But I did just spend like, an hour (I’m underemployed at the moment BY CHOICE!!!!!!!) combing through my Nass email and I firstly want to apologize for my behavior, but I also want to inform everyone that some of our jokes truly hold up and that it’s possible (not likely, but theoretically possible) that we were just as funny and smart as we thought we were.

In conclusion, I post a list I just found in my email, sent 2/8/2013, to people who had promised to write articles for the issue we would send to the printer on 2/13/13, and which I think gives as damning and as honest a portrait of both my secretarial skills, managerial oversight, and the overall agenda of the Nass as one could wish for in an anniversary issue, and also doubles as a sampling of people who I will always cherish for their friendship and hot takes, before “hot takes” were even a thing, and triples as a found poem.

FOR 2/13
Chris and Emily: terrace
Jared- eating clubs
Elise- Skeet shooting
Dan- Gun guy interview
Marty- New Jersey is beautiful
Pinke- Shawon
Joel- Beyonce
Guy- recommendations
Will Mantel- Basshunter things
Jubas- problem sets
Sondern- Microsoft
Giri- Ivy lady
Veronica- Matisse
Susannah-Interview with a Virgin
Yuni-Princetonian over winter break/being addicted to blogs
Clara/Yuni: counter argument to anti-Beyonce
Joel: arts collective
Rafi : knee-jerk negative reactions to princeton intiatives/interactive food as an experience/ dan comic books/ tuesday manifesto
olivia: coat-theft (spec fiction)
Veronica: the uncertain future of 2016
Emily/Clara/Isabel/Joel/Eliot: intro language classes
Bennet: weird run-ins (the universe)
Giri: spaces/tabbed browsing
Arthur: going to the street sober
Sarah: anti-gun control
Giri: paint-ball with rosen
Louise: more readers
Taylor: ugandan health care
Liz: why i quit facebook

Susannah Sharpless ‘15 is a former editor in chief of the Nass.