than when we made it to the peak

and we couldn’t see anything through the clouds

we were so happy

but so cold

floating in the orange oasis

we ran back to the car together

and i couldn’t stop giggling

wasting gas with you was like buying endorphins

after we got to the base of the mountain again

i couldn’t let go of your hand

the next day when we drove out of town

you told me this is when you realized

you took pictures of the view

the horizon and the fireworks stand

fast-forward 

i don’t remember a time i was more scared

i couldn’t believe what you’d done to me

i just wanted you to love me

and you hurt me

you took advantage of my mouth 

and then you fed me lies until i swallowed

i swallowed your lies 

and they came back up as tears

and i felt bad for you

i felt so bad for you

nothing was in my control

the airplanes were taking off and there was nothing i could do to stop them

and before you left

you lied to me even more

tried to save yourself 

from a decision already made

at the expense of my feelings

because my feelings never meant anything to you

you told me that you don’t want to hurt anyone

but that’s all you ever did to me

you pulled me up to the greatest highs

just to drop me

and watch me fall to the worst lows