The morning after my brother climbs in my bed & spends the whole night with his face in his hands, I go to the art museum. In the ancient section, I gaze down the glass avenues, examine each perfect rectangular lozenge & the sweets they hold: pottery shards, blown glass, nose-less marble, stone turned to sand. It is in the Attic Pottery Section, Circa 300 BC, that I realize I am surrounded by men: statues, busts, coins, relief etchings, drinking/fighting/fucking/praying, violent on red & black vase, half-beast in Egyptian statue, snarl-mouthed prayer votives, hands clasped in beg. The lone mummy, a man. I laugh because it is not funny, a crude joke, me surrounded by thousands of my father & none of his women, for once a pharaoh with no phalanx. I cannot take it. Then, to the left, on a lone wall, the giant arm of some lost wooden body, the painted skin deep ochre, russet, red river clay. Lightly muscled & slim, the slight bulb where the upper arm once connected with the shoulder, molded perfect. The forearm lean, built around the bone. Grey fingernails, a cracked palm turned inwards & curled. The arm is making a fist. I know the arm will do what I have always needed it to do, free from the body & its complications. Leftovers & flotsam of a man, all I want from what remains of my father, the arm, to brush my hair before I fall asleep, bring me blueberries in a white bowl.
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Hey Hannah I really loved this peice. I ran into your work and recognized you right away. Do you remember a Tall guy from your volunteer work back in October ’14. You influenced me to write Several pieces that really bought me some clarity in my life. Thanks for everything and keep up the tremendous effort.