Category: Campus

Pictures of Michael’s Kin

1. Mother. She must be. I think. Hands are folded, mouth is folded, below a collapsible razor nose. But that was before that type of folding razor, and my mother wouldn’t have had one for a nose, anyway. The eyes, … Read More

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Not Strange Enough

It is the secret dream of every science fiction writer to create his own religion. There is, in fact, one writer who actually succeeded: L. Ron Hubbard, author of such sci-fi paperweights as Battlefield Earth and Mission Earth, created Scientology … Read More

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Hal v. Hal

Dearest IV,
American poet Carl Sandburg called TV the “idiot-box.” This is the only thing I learned in 5th grade. Now I think Carl Sandburg is an idiot-box. However, the fact remains that television is a thing oft-maligned from every quarter.

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Girl Gone Wild

What deranged group of people would spend its entire vacation taking a course where the requirements include standing in or near a below-freezing creek for hours, and later learning about ailments that range from entopic pregnancies to patella dislocations to … Read More

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Erotic Comics

On the eve of World War I, an aged Alice checks into a Swiss hotel, carrying with her a large looking glass. Next door, Wendy, still reminiscing over Peter Pan, lies side by side with her dry, buttoned-up husband. Later … Read More

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Foreign Son

It’s an odd thing being a young black man in this country, and a particularly strange experience being one here at Princeton. We are provided with several useful organizations that succeed at promoting unity and connections among us, while we … Read More

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An Evening with Mr. Hussein

If you want to determine how desperate a group of people are, just look at their heroes. So Saddam’s shiny new posthumous status as martyr surprises me not. As Saudi Arabian TV personality, Ahmad Mazin al-Shugairi relates, “The Arab world has been devoid of pride for a long time. The way Saddam acted in court and just before he was executed, with dignity and no fear, struck a chord with Arabs who are desperate for their own leaders to have pride too.”

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What’s In a Name?

As a self-proclaimed solipsist, I have always attached much importance to my name and seen it manifest itself in the least expected of places. But in my pampered youth of Plaza teas surrounded by the redolence of a fine Cavendish … Read More

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Single and Desperate

Daring, bold 5’9″ Jewish M with extreme good looks has decided not to be daring and bold by placing an ad for a similarly attractive F, height < 5'8". Think Annie Hall for a better looking, more bold and daring Alvy Singer. If you don't know what I'm talking about, it might not work.

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’Tis the season

So the people on your Christmas/Hanukkah/Winter Solstice Festival list don’t get much out of pants covered with embroidered geese or yet another Overpriced Princeton Memorabilia Item™ from the U-Store. Maybe it’s time to look around for some alternatives – without … Read More

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A Modern-Day Houdini

Tickling the teeth, the tongue, the lips, Dr. Rabinowitz-Drillstein would jab various metal objects into my mouth during my visits to his dentist office. Though the majority of dentists will have at their most depressed of times the faint scent of Scotch or some strong digestif, my humble tooth doctor lacked this characteristic, and quite mysteriously so.

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Strangelove at Christmastime

And you can feel it coming every year. Thanksgiving morning on the train tracks, you can feel it trembling, Christmas in transit, mere moments until it knocks you sideways and leaves you for dead. It isn’t that I don’t like … Read More

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