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Byline: Conor Gannon

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Scan His Rhymes

If great hip-hop artists produce minor hip-hop artists, as RZA brought us Method Man and Biggie Diddy, Gucci Mane may achieve greatness on October 5th, when Waka Flocka Flame attempts to achieve with _Flockaveli_ what OJ Da Juiceman sort-of eventually … Read More

by Conor Gannon on September 29, 2010March 17, 2013

Prose Poem

Editor’s Note: What follows is composed from features published in The New Yorker between September and December 2010. No alterations beyond rearrangement were made to the texts, excepting those that ensured gender, tense and number agreement.

by Conor Gannon on February 16, 2011March 17, 2013

“There’s this rich guy, he wants to be famous”

Close your eyes. Are they closed? No, good point, I guess you’ll need to keep them open to read the Powerpoint. Okay, close them when you can, and otherwise close your inner eye, or eyes. The number of inner eyes … Read More

by Conor Gannon on February 10, 2010March 17, 2013

Obama on Afghanistan

Live Blogging of the President’s address on December 1, 2009.

by Conor Gannon on December 3, 2009March 17, 2013

Sittin’ Pretty in Wham City

A week and a day after I saw Dan Deacon play his new DVD, Ultimate Reality, at Bard College, I saw him buying a camera at B&H in Manhattan. B&H is probably what the Nazis feared the planet would look like by now: an electronics store run and mostly staffed by Orthodox Jews, every item carried from the shelf to the salesman to the register by conveyor belts, each one tricked out with neon blue trim.

by Conor Gannon on February 20, 2008March 17, 2013

The Helmand

Bam. B-r-ck, b-r-ck. No one is dead. No one is here.
This is a poem about my brother in Afghanistan.

by Conor Gannon on November 19, 2009March 22, 2013

“Push, Push, in the Bush”

When browsing classic disco blogs—always maintained by sweaty, foreign men, a tendency I have learned from the pictures of themselves they publish inexplicably—one can only judge the quality of the records by their album covers. There are no band biographies, no album reviews, no other photographs: it is a cultural archive without history or salesmanship. Determining quality with so little information is a delicate but logical process, the mechanics of which can only be explained by example.

by Conor Gannon on November 13, 2008March 17, 2013

Debate Scorecard, Redux

WICKEDEST CENSORS—CNN “Hey, can I call you Joe?” she asked. “[Off-mike],” he responded. BEST MIXED METAPHOR—SARAH PALIN “The barometer there, I think, is going to be resounding that our economy is hurting.” MOST GERUNDS—SARAH PALIN Gerunds are for the weak, … Read More

by Conor Gannon on October 9, 2008March 17, 2013

Here We Go Again

You might have heard that a half-black man named Barack Obama is running for President. This sounds ridiculous, but the last few weeks have revealed that some have not.

by Conor Gannon on March 27, 2008March 17, 2013

Creole

“All gone Quinn.”
“Who sir?”
“Shy Anne.”
“You sure?”

by Conor Gannon on October 13, 2010March 17, 2013

Play My Music

I had never heard a Jonas Brothers song before the first week of this school year. I was throwing a pre-game for Lawnparties, offering Tequila Sunrises and mojitos in the a.m.—the youngest oldest thing Princeton students do. The eclectic and up-to-the-minute iTunes playlist I had made for the occasion had run out, and some roommate of a friend had taken over the computer to keep the mood going. “‘Burnin’ Up’!” someone requested. Probably the new Usher single, I thought, and then a nineteen- or twenty-year-old played me my first Jonas Brothers song. “Don’t they wear chastity rings?” I asked no one.

by Conor Gannon on September 25, 2008March 17, 2013

Quit Yer Lollygaggin’

“Morphing Double N______.” That was the link I clicked on, the link at which I knew that researching this article, on lolcats of all things (a joke so quirky-yet-plain that it netted coverage in Time), was going to lead me all the way down, through every level of adolescent offensiveness into the final stage.

by Conor Gannon on March 6, 2008March 17, 2013


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