Two weeks ago, the October 4 issue of the Nassau Weekly ran a cover lamenting the entirely fictional passing of Juergen Habermas. While our last issue intended to remedy what was supposed to be a humorous presentation of our lack … Read More
We wish to apologize for an error in our last issue. Jurgen Habermas is not, in fact, dead. He is alive and well. Not only this, but Gilles Deleuze, famed French anarcho-philosopher, is no longer dead. Upon reading our illustrative … Read More
Porter White I believe. If Charlie Brown has his Great Pumpkin, I have my Valentine Rabbit. Annually on the lustful February V-day, the Rabbit, fluff-relative to the Tooth Fairy & Co., descends to my parents’ house and bestows enigmatic heart-shaped … Read More
Princeton University is a warped, funhouse mirror image of Hollywood, where the oldest and least attractive people are the stars and the beautiful children of privilege pay high prices to stand briefly in their presence. Like Princeton, Hollywood is a … Read More
Or rather, your notion of the face in Baudelaire is evasive. Poetry’s stock has fallen; that of the novel, the short story—that of prose—has risen. The New Yorker and The New York Review of Books have run articles addressing the … Read More
It’s the apocalypse, and in its last death rattle, the illustrious Nassau Weekly decides to leave one more gift to humanity, to create the only remembrance of our time on earth, to cement an eternal legacy—to publish THE LAST LIST.
Top 5 Pop Songs I Love No Matter What They Say 1) “Beautiful,” Christina Aguilera 2) “Always be My Baby,” Mariah Carey 3) “Kissed by a Rose,” Seal 4) “Crazy in Love,” Beyonce Knowles 5) “I Try,” Macy Gray Top … Read More
The inspiration for this guide struck me with its +4 Fire Damage Hammer of Glor’goth when I realized just how much of the day I spend talking about MMORPGs alone, never mind playing. I cannot claim complete authority on this diverse topic, but for you, dear reader, I shall elucidate some of those peculiar things you might have heard that group of strange non-J.Crew-clad folk babbling about at the dining table next to yours.
“My eyes darted between the two security cameras on the roof. Despite feeling cynical lately about the effectiveness of government, I had a feeling that these cameras were both working and monitored around the clock. I felt so patriotic.”
My sister started her coming-out process in eighth grade. My brother and I were in seventh. She entered her final year of middle school feeling alienated and afraid, so when the girl next to her in homeroom showed up with a print-out of Sid Vicious taped to her binder, Steph seized the opportunity to make a friend. Her name was Anna. She was thirteen, wore rainbow-banded tights and sometimes smelled like cigarettes. Her screen name was “kind-o-kinky.” She was the first bisexual any of us had ever known.
Well, after being bestowed with the MVC(Most-Valued-Cashier) by the Spectator, I felt compelled to return the favor by bestowing awards on my most loyal fans. After all, where would I be without them? So without further ado and without all the fanfare of large scale expensive award ceremonies that drag on for hours on end – I present the awards for 2005.
