Byline: Anonymous

The Tories of Spring

Schmitz’s real purpose is to marginalize 185 Nassau and a group of people who create. And how better to do this than to reduce all their striving to a simple exercise in what Edward Said terms “refinement”—the long, steady, reactionary march toward sameness, marked by a constant re-reading and emulating of a constricted Western canon. Anyone can write a villanelle in a vacuum, but the teaching of creativity, the encouragement of a fresh perspective—these demand an understanding of the physical world and of the writer’s particular circumstances.

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21 Club

Binge drinking in secrecy.

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Our favorite ideal ideologues

1.Suzanne Westbrook 2.Jesus of Nazareth 3.Julian the Apostate 4.Robbie George 5.Stefan McDaniel 6.Martin Heidegger 7.Mammon, God of Wealth 8.Paul of Tarsus 9.Sara Viola 10.John Maynard Keynes 11.Hannah Arendt 12.Will ‘The Scharf’s Scharf’ Scharf 13.Karl Marx 14.Harold Graham Parker III / … Read More

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Tell Me Why

Gregg Gillis sits in the library of Terrace Club; a few minutes ago he was eating potatoes. He is of average height and has enormous white teeth. He speaks rapidly and giddily, as though school has just been cancelled.

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Marijuana, Maybe Wanna?

If you are reading this article, you are surely already aware that April 20 marks the annual celebration of cannabis. In the spirit of the holiday, I would like to offer a little tribute to this strange plant that has … Read More

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Total Clipse of the Heart

People – especially dopey, two-months-behind-the-times columnists like the New Yorker’s Sasha Frere-Jones – love making sweeping pronouncements about the nature of hip-hop. Music is a manifestation of the human creative spirit; it is born of a whole slew of political … Read More

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MONOLOGUES

“Zach Feig ’18 is organizing a staged reading of monologues, submitted anonymously by students at Princeton, about their struggles with eating, eating disorders, nutrition, weight loss, weight gain, and dieting. The project’s goal is to generate conversation and community around maintaining a healthy relationship with food. The Nassau Weekly has worked with Zach to showcase a small collection of these monologues, printed here, with a similar aspiration.”

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21 Club

Editor’s Note: A 21 Club member from the distant past offered the Nass a brief glimpse into their ritual.

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Single and Desperate

Daring, bold 5’9″ Jewish M with extreme good looks has decided not to be daring and bold by placing an ad for a similarly attractive F, height < 5'8". Think Annie Hall for a better looking, more bold and daring Alvy Singer. If you don't know what I'm talking about, it might not work.

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Three Poems

Ad Pulcherissimam Fireassam Mariannam These humid days Tend to craze More than desert sun. But if her heat Will join this heat Then come come Delirium! The Beautiful Bain of My Existence (Jonesin’) We’re all struck soon or late, you … Read More

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TI Classy-fied

Prospect’s frat house has got its weenus showing.

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An E-mail I Received from Barack Obama, Democratic Nominee for President of America

Dear Chris—

We’ve done it!

Or rather, I’ve done it—successfully completed my first debate with Sen. John McCain, whom I refer to as ‘John’ in order to seem familiar and approachable and non-Muslim.

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