Dear students,

I am a representative of your local branch of the Political Correctness Brigade. It has come to my attention that our service is facing some pushback among certain members of the Princeton community. The recent controversies surrounding Big Sean and Urban Congo seem to have divided your campus, and some people believe our service is only adding to the problem. There have been numerous letters accusing us of “taking it too far,” and suggesting that perhaps political correctness has “gone mad.”

In response to these allegations, I would like to set out our plans for the rest of the year. You may find these policies extreme, but we feel that a certain level of action is necessary in order to make the world a better place. Don’t be alarmed if parts of our project initially seem too militant.

i.

We support the use of inclusive and supportive language in order to make traditionally marginalized groups feel as comfortable as possible at an institution that has historically been far from welcoming to them.

ii.

We try to avoid words and phrases that have a history of being used pejoratively against those marginalized peoples. We accept that it is not our place to re-appropriate those words on anybody else’s behalf.

iii.

We aim to treat individual members of minority groups as distinct persons, rather than as stereotypical representatives of their groups.

iv.

We criticize entertainment that is based around mockery of the oppressed. We acknowledge that ridiculing less powerful groups from a position of privilege is a lazy and cruel form of comedy, and we, like everybody else, are better than that.

v.

We want to make Princeton an emotionally and physically safe environment for all its inhabitants. We recognize that supporting mechanisms of oppression runs counter to that goal.

vi.

We understand that objection to offensive language or behaviour is not the same as censorship or infringement on free speech, and we hope that others understand that too.

vii.

We never act with the intention of making people upset or distressed, especially because we know that many groups face a threat of exploitation, injustice and mistreatment from society at large. We think that Princeton should be a respite from this, rather than an extension of it.

viii.

We try to behave like compassionate and reasonable human beings.

Maybe these ideas seem fanatical to you. If so, please read them again and then report to our branch immediately. You are in severe need of our help.

Yours,

Officer X

Princeton PC Brigade