1. What is Cap Love?
  2. How can I improve my relationship with my mother?
  3. what’s ur dick like?
  4. You’re Jewish but your name is Christopher… is that weird for you?
  5. Have you ever hooked up with a student? Be honest.
  6. Which one(s)?
  7. Are you circumcised?
  8. Is your wife circumcised?
  9. Can you use the word “titillate” in a sentence?
  10. Can you use the word “titillate” more often?
  11. Favorite character in Cloud Atlas?
  12. What are you doing to improve socio-economic diversity at Princeton?
  13. Am I lovable?
  14. Are you lovable?
  15. How can I improve my relationship with your mother?
  16. Ever read verbatim?
  17. Am I an empirical kid or an organization kid?
  18. Yes or no?
  19. Who, what, where, when, or why?
  20. How many?
  21. How about now?
  22. How about now?
  23. What’s the tallest you’ve ever been?
  24. What’s the highest you’ve ever been?
  25. What’s the highest point on campus you’ve jerked it?
  26. When was the last time you used your physics education?
  27. Do the ‘80s ever call looking for your glasses? Zing!
  28. Do you even know what a provost is?
  29. If you were a Buzzfeed quiz what Buzzfeed quiz would you be?
  30. Work, play, sleep. Pick one and you have to do it forever.
  31. Describe yourself in 14 characters.
  32. Describe yourself with 14 characters from Cloud Atlas.
  33. where the weather machine at LOL srsly
  34. What is the most expensive thing you have ever put in your mouth?
  35. Seriously, what’s your dick like?
  36. Are you on Tinder?
  37. Do you get your own bathroom?
  38. Do you even have bodily functions?
  39. Do you love this shit?
  40. Are you high right now?
  41. Do you ever get nervous?
  42. What’s your record number of likes on Instagram?
  43. Will you follow me on Twitter?
  44. Which animal would you trade skins with?
  45. Which fruit would you trade skins with?
  46. Is it ever annoying when you ask Martin Mbugua for his opinion on an outfit and he refuses to comment?
  47. Are you familiar with the term “dad jeans”?
  48. Are you my real dad?
  49. Would you describe your style as “normcore”?
  50. What’s delicious?
  51. What’s your fave syllable?
  52. When was the last time you cried?
  53. Who’s the most attractive person in Ivy?
  54. Who would you retro-hose?
  55. Is this all just too much?
  56. Do you even lift?
  57. Are you hitting on me?!
  58. Why does the financial aid office believe that family contributions can increase every year?
  59. Am I the first non-USG member to come to Office Hours?
  60. Are today’s undergraduates more nubile than in the 1980s?
  61. Are you a feminist?
  62. Where is the Asian-American studies department?
  63. Whose dick do I have to suck to get a capitol internship around here?
  64. Whose did you have to suck to get a capitol internship around there?
  65. Was it worth it?
  66. Can you please approve the creation of more co-ops in support of the radical notion that students could actually eat affordably?
  67. Can we divest, already?!
  68. How the hell did this shit happen? Oh baby.
  69. What’s the “F” in Terrace F. Club stand for?
  70. How do I get off the Nassau Weekly listserv?
  71. Tell me one fun fact about yourself?
  72. Has the list closed yet?
  73. Can I be your plus one?
  74. Is it members only?
  75. lets go 2 terrace? ?
  76. hey you up?
  77. Do you think your son is really yours?
  78. Can you make Princeton dismantle its effed-up mental health system and build one that is actually in the best interests of students, like, yesterday?
  79. How does it feel that Shawon Jackson has been President longer than you have?
  80. Does he look like a bitch?
  81. Then why you try to fuck him like a bitch?
  82. What’s your favorite?
  83. Are you afraid you’ll be impeached?
  84. Do you know what St. A’s is?
  85. Fine. How about the 21 Club?
  86. Okay, but I bet you’ve never heard of the Nassau Weekly?
  87. How’s your prostate?
  88. Would you rather never see your family again or see them again?
  89. What advice do you have for aspiring presidents?
  90. What advice do you have for someone looking to sleep with a president?
  91. *long pause* Is this a date?
  92. Did you even look at what my favorite word was when you let me into this place? What about my math SAT score? If I told you what either of them were would you kick me out? No, you probably would.
  93. What happens in Prospect House? Does it involve blood?
  94. What is up with that pipe outside Firestone emitting smoke that smells like vanilla?
  95. Do you know undergrads call the statue that memorializes the tragedy at Kent State “The Blowjob Statue” because we are literally only just barely worthy of calling ourselves “human”?
  96. IS IT IN YƟU?
  97. r u wet?
  98. James Franco has a Ph.D. and you do not? Are you a moron?
  99. Do you really feel qualified to be running a university?
  100. Don’t you feel that James would be a better fit for this position?
  101. Do you have any questions for me?