Act 1:

(We are in a stable. Each actor has consumed between eight and fifteen 5-Hour Energies.)

AN ANGEL: Hark!

AN ANGLE: Organic robots! Range-free!

SIXTEEN SMALL TO MEDIUM SIZED T-SHIRTS: (wave in the wind)

NARRATOR: L! (pause here) M! (pause here) N! (pause here) O! (no pause here.)

ORATOR: Who invited the plague?

*

Act 3:

(The stage takes a short nap.)

THE CULT OF THE SCIENTIFIC METHOD: (chanting) Truth. Truth. Truth. Truth. Truth. Truth.

(They bring out THE SCIENTIFIC METHOD. It is a laminated airplane safety card.)

THE SCIENTIFIC METHOD: But I am Thoth!

(Planet-wide electrical failure.)

Act 4:

(A cool breeze)

Act 5:

CLIMAX: Denoument!

Act 7:

AN ORCHESTRA: (wishes it was A PHILHARMONIC)

A PHILHARMONIC: (is AN ORCHESTRA)

Act 8:

HEIDI KLUM: Auf Wiedersehen.

*Acts 2, 6 and 7 were donated to Locks of Love