100 things the staff of the Nass doesn’t want to see again next year:

  1. So much self-loathing staring back out of the mirror

  2. My love handles

  3. My puffy cheeks

  4. My cankles

  5. Food

  6. My third nipple

  7. Uncircumcised penises

  8. Uncircumcised vaginas

  9. The way Shirley Tilghman blushes when I brush her hair behind her ear

  10. The way Shirley Tilghman giggles at all my stupid jokes

  11. The way Shirley Tilghman always knows exactly what to say to make me feel better

  12. Green text messages on my iPhone screen

  13. My QR

  14. Effigies burning on Alexander Beach

  15. Terrorism

  16. “YOLO 13RO” tank tops

  17. Steak as a metaphor for sex

  18. Your virginity

  19. You, if you’re a little asswipe that stands in the corners at night or if you’re a weird shit that does weird shit during the day

  20. Cunt-punting

  21. What You Be

  22. Cold-ass honkeys

  23. Your marriageable Jewish son

  24. Baz Luhrmann reimagining things

  25. “The Orange Bubble”

  26. “The Weather Machine”

  27. “Kimye”

  28. “Grubes,” “EisEis Baby” or any variation thereof

  29.  Popes

  30. Live-blogging your all-nighter

  31. Disdain for Reflective Practices

  32. Non-bicker co-ops

  33. Sad library naps

  34. Complacency about Y2K

  35. Wedge sneakers

  36. Leather shorts for babies

  37. Throwback Thursdays

  38. Locusts

  39. Tommy Hilfiger photo shoots

  40. Not getting laid despite a tasteful pun

  41. Writing Sem Drafts

  42. Writing Sem Revisions

  43. JPs

  44. Theses

  45. Feces

  46. Public Indecencies

  47. Our lexicon

  48. Unmotivated motives

  49. Love & Lust in the Bubble

  50. Love

  51. Lust

  52. The word “trolling” and the act of it

  53. Pollen

  54. Michael Bay

  55. Myopia

  56. Astigmatism

  57. Stigmatizing

  58. Non-Princeton Rhodes Scholars

  59. Siri conflicts

  60. Syrian conflicts

  61. Ice cream on your face

  62. A tattoo of ice cream on your face

  63. Lactose intolerance

  64. Lax bro incompetence

  65. Tiger Admirers

  66. Homophobia in professional sports

  67. Orientalism in Raks Odalisque promotional materials

  68. Chris Eisgruber’s secret affair with his biographer

  69. Chris Eisgruber’s secret affair with David Petraeus

  70.  Shirleypalooza

  71. COS 126

  72. Ads

  73. The penny

  74. Non-commemorative quarters

  75. Physical currency

  76. The market

  77. The concept of ownership

  78. The confines of arbitrary abstractions

  79. Printer jams

  80. Guilt

  81. Homework

  82. Gray skies

  83. Chubbies

  84. Furries

  85. Indecision

  86. Mike the Bouncer

  87. JCO’s Twitter

  88. Harsh sounds

  89. Institutions

  90. TV about people’s jobs

  91. White text at the bottom of USG emails

  92. Reminders to highlight white text at the bottom of USG emails

  93. USG

  94. Taxation Without Representation

  95. Pregnant pauses at the U-Store register

  96. Pregnant pauses at McCosh

  97. Diminishing Nass 100 Submissions

  98. Diminishing Nass 100

  99. Diminishing Nass

  100. Nass