Open Internet networks are so common these days that warnings about unwanted invasions of privacy have dimmed almost to silence. With people continually posting pictures of themselves, along with private information, on websites such as MySpace and Facebook, everyone has access to strangers’ inner worlds. The Internet abounds with true autobiographies-in-progress or fictional character developments, often created by people with low self-esteems, lacking any form of entertainment whatsoever. If we were horny, unemployed dudes, instead of two 18-year-old girls, we would probably pass ourselves off as two 18-year-old girls to boost our ego. Even scarier than unemployed dudes, however, is the effect the Internet has had on prepubescent teens, who seem to have exhibitionist tendencies. Most people seem to remember middle school as a social battleground, in which the “cool” kids were the sole survivors. In our day, being a popular eighth grader basically translated to wearing trendy bellbottom jeans, strutting around with a pack of gossiping girls (all of whom had boyfriends), wearing sparkle makeup, and hopefully showing off something akin to boobs. The truth is that popular culture has evolved over the years, largely due to the Internet, and the good old days of flaunting padded bras, free from sexual implications, are over.

The popularity of free porn and the insistent presence of sex in the media are unquestionably intensifying. All in all, it’s not that difficult to influence young susceptible adolescents; hence the fact that middle school popularity has translated into being sexually active should not come as an overwhelming surprise. Yet, it’s hard not to gasp at the sight of fourteen-year-olds whose MySpace account has the tag name “I’m A Whore” and whose profile description states “I fucked 6 Guys 22 Times Each And Damn Proud.” This information is freely accessible on a private closed profile, and it leaves me to wonder what one could see as her MySpace friend. Chances are this is a joke or exaggeration of some sort, but it goes to show that the teenage sense of humor has changed into a pornographic perversion. Still another fifteen year old boasts that “SUCKiN DiCK N BENDiN OVA ALLLLL DAY” is one of her favorite activities. We can’t help but ask ourselves whether we’ve grown into a prude old hags, or whether this recent development is actually somewhat scandalous.

These concerns haven’t just been triggered by potential MySpace exaggerations (that we discovered while stalking middle school girls on the Internet), but were brought to our attention when we overheard a ridiculous story through the Princeton grapevine. Apparently, the online sex culture reflects real-life tales of stairway blowjobs, in which middle school posses an astutely developed wall technique to guard explicit sex acts from teachers within the confines of educational facilities. Is it a bad thing that the popular kids, who once entertained themselves by spreading vicious rumors, have now regressed into self-indulgent oral pleasures? We remember past middle school friendships in which the accusation of being a slut could destroy one’s reputation, but nowadays sluts rule the school. And, we guess, if your friends won’t shield your back as you give a blowjob, then who will?

It’s interesting that many middle school girls get more ass in one day than we have gotten in our lives. What’s next? Fifth graders giving hand jobs next to their cubbies and third graders getting to second base while finger painting? With celebrities advertising hormone-saturated milk, chances are they probably have titties too! But hey, as the Princeton mentality advocates, we should promote diversity and broaden our tolerance of sluts and prudes alike. So, the message is, maybe we should let everyone “do their thang,” as fourteen-year-old Amanda Disaster proudly suggests on MySpace (flaunting her D-cup cleavage). Slut? Fine by me!