Category: Campus

In Defense of Cigarettes and Smokers

There is something intimately sensual about it, and I’m sure many smokers will agree with me. The elegant dance of fresh hot tobacco smoke rising into the transparent expanse, traversing only for a moment the contours of moving air and then diffusing casually into its surroundings, leaving behind only the stale scent of a bowling alley late at night.

by on

J.M. Coetzee’s Newest Book Revealed!

In perhaps the greatest scoop of the year, specialists with the Nassau Weekly Department of Literary Espionage discovered an advance copy of J.M. Coetzee’s newest work in the men’s room stall of “The Mother of All Bathrooms” on the 300 … Read More

by on

Can I Read Marxist Theory in Starbucks and Not Go to Hell?

I am perhaps the only card-carrying socialist who will admit that he loves Starbucks. My leftist friends, even the ones who aren’t nearly as active as I am, find this sort of behavior revolting. I’m already on probation for being a Zionist, saying that the left doesn’t know all the answers to war and peace, and being chummy with the bureaucrats in Nassau Hall.

by on

The Tale of the Cake Nazi

I haven’t ever written for the Nassau Weekly. But I have wanted to get this story off of my chest for quite some time, and it has somehow managed not to find a way into any of the other campus newspapers and magazines.

by on

The Girl of My Dreams, and My Nightmares Too

Junior year, I was losing fights with acne, schoolwork, and my love life. But then I started working out and following my dermatologist’s orders. One day during a heat wave, I wore a wife-beater (and my newly clear skin) to school, and the ugly duckling became a swan.

by on

Note to Both Tory and OWL: I Don’t Care

At least since I have been on campus and Shirley Tilghman has been University president – both situations date to fall 2001 – the Princeton Tory and the Organization of Women Leaders have not been able to get along.

by on