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Letter to a Professor (From a Disgruntled Parent-Donor)

Dear Lecherous Lecturer Precious Professor, Happy winter. I heard you’re in Vail? Hope the slopes are not destroying your knees. I’m reeling from the news that you gave a D to my son Robert “Torie” George Junior (I abstain from … Read More

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Three Cheers for Queering the Census

Next Monday, March 29, Princeton University will begin distributing Census forms to Frist Center mailboxes for students who live on campus. Students will also find another envelope in their mailbox that week, containing a short letter and a pink sticker … Read More

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That Precept Kid Reviews Some Albums

Piggybacking off of your cultural criticism

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Baby, Baby, Oh

Why we should have known this was coming.

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The Thaw

I know you’re coming
because of late
handfuls of wholesome Catholics
appeared in crowds with ashes
slurred upon their brows.

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A Summer of Luddism

“I didn’t even think about my phone at all, didn’t start at a phantom buzz in my pocket or stop what I was doing to look over at the device when I thought I saw its screen light up.”

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The Lonely Conservative

Evan Baehr feels oppressed. This alleged marginalization has nothing to do with race; he’s white.

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Conversation

It’s like a death, but it’s worse. Because this is the last time I’ll speak with you and we’re both angry. I’m yelling something, but I’m looking at the rumple between your mouth and your nose, watching it as you … Read More

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Harry Hazards

The news that the British media—perhaps the world’s most ferociously unscrupulous—kept Prince Harry’s presence in Afghanistan a secret for ten weeks shocked the world. But as soon as the story broke, he was pulled off the front lines and sent home.

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The Construction of Concealment: Princeton’s Geo-Exchange System and Why We Can’t See It

What do we miss when we complain about construction?

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A Modern-Day Houdini

Tickling the teeth, the tongue, the lips, Dr. Rabinowitz-Drillstein would jab various metal objects into my mouth during my visits to his dentist office. Though the majority of dentists will have at their most depressed of times the faint scent of Scotch or some strong digestif, my humble tooth doctor lacked this characteristic, and quite mysteriously so.

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Storyteller

“He had built a life before, and watched it fall apart.”

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